3 Angel Boys and then we tried everything and got our beautiful baby Girl……
Lola 7 months
I am a very blessed mum of four gorgeous little people. I have been very lucky to have had wonderful pregnancies and super quick, drug free births (5 hours natural birth first baby, 1hr 50 mins water birth second baby, 3 hours water birth 3rd baby and a very quick 1hr 30 mins fourth baby) but the fourth one didn’t quite go as I had planned!
Here is our story.
My husband was 30 and I was 28 when we got together. We’d known each other our whole lives but hadn’t seen each other for 20 years. We reconnected at his 30th Birthday and fell in love very quickly. It was only a matter of months before my husband started saying lets make babies! We fell pregnant after being together 9 months, got married 10 weeks later and welcomed our first son “Kai” later that year.
When Kai was 18 months old we tried again for a brother or sister for Kai. In my mind you had a baby boy then you had a baby girl. We didn’t find out what we were having so when “Cruz” arrived and he was a boy I was a little taken back (but in love all the same). I soon realised what a gorgeous combination 2 boys would be, brothers and best mates for life!
Again when Cruz was 20 months we decided to try again. This time I’d read up a little about gender swaying so we tried the timing. I monitored my cycle for several months prior to conceiving. Male sperm are supposed to be faster but die sooner than female sperm so I flew to see my husband in another State because the timing was right. We tried once, 6 days before I ovulated and fell pregnant! I thought for sure this time it would be a little girl in there.
I was extremely nervous coming up to the scan but kept it to myself. On the day of the scan I wore a pink singlet under my clothes that I had written on “It’s a girl” and I was going to celebrate when they told me it was a girl by whipping off my jumper to reveal this singlet to my husband and whoever I could drop in and see on the way home. Off we went to the scan and as soon as the lady went down to the genital area I saw it straight away….swaying in the fluid. I started to cry, and then I cried even more thinking just how ungrateful I was. Here I was with a beautiful, healthy baby – something that so many other people would give their right arm for and yet I was upset. I’ll be honest, I went home and cried for 2 days straight. My heart so badly yearned for a baby girl. It took a couple of weeks for it all to sink in but it wasn’t long before I was excited for another gorgeous little man coming into our family.
Our little pocket rocket “Beau” was born and we were instantly in love. He was absolutely gorgeous and his brothers adored him from the moment they met him.
Having 3 little boys is amazing beyond words. They love their mummy and are always so cuddly and caring. I think having 3 boys has changed me in ways I probably can’t even explain. (Lord help me when they get girlfriends and I’m no longer the love of their lives!)
As the years went on all of my girlfriends had a boy and girl and then some went on to have a 3rd. I wondered whether a daughter was ever in the plan for me?
I loved my boys and I loved going to soccer and skateboard parks but my heart still ached for a daughter to dress in pink and take to dance class.
We decided we’d go for a fourth baby. After all, with 3 someone was always left out.
This time I had read up on every conceivable thing you could possibly do to try to sway things in the favour of creating a baby girl so we set about all of them. (I’m very lucky my husband was on board because not many would be I’ve since learnt)
4 months prior to conception we both started with calcium and magnesium powder morning and night, cranberry tables and a couple of others I can’t even remember. My husband went off red meat and all alcohol. I studied the moon fazes, wore a negative ion bracelet and took my temperature and charted my cycle everyday.
I’d mapped out that we would try 5 days early. On the night, we did hideous things like heating testicles (because apparently this kills off some sperm and low sperm count would favour a girl). I douched myself with lime juice (the acidity is supposed to kill off male sperm as they can’t stand the acidic environment). By the time we got to the actual fun part it wasn’t really that fun! Afterwards I put a lime douched tampon in for 4 hours to again kill off any male sperm.
And somehow…. by some miracle…..after all that we still fell pregnant!
We cruised along till it was scan time. I didn’t tell anybody when we were going as I’d learnt from last time that everyone wanted to know, and I wanted some time for it to all sink in. We went to the Obstetricians and he said 95% girl but I had to go to the 3D place to have it confirmed. Even when I was told there that it was a girl I still carried on in disbelief. “I’ll believe it when I see it” I kept saying.
As the end of my pregnancy drew closer I took all my MayerClinic “Easy Birthing Kit” herbs (if you haven’t had these I highly recommend them) so I knew I would dilate quickly and everything would happen pretty quick.
8 days prior to my due date, I leaked a little water in the night and was having a few braxton hicks but I knew I had an OB appointment the next afternoon at 3pm so just hung on till then. We packed our bags and took them to the appointment as we knew he would say he’d break my water since I’d had a leak. At the OB appointment at 3.00pm he did an internal. “All looks good your about 4cm dilated he said “but the head is a little high”. He told us to head on over to the hospital, get comfy and he’d be over at 5.30pm when he finished his appointments to break my water.
Over at the hospital we got all set up. At first we got a midwife who was not very helpful. I asked her for an Enema (I always fell much better going into labour if I’ve done this), she refused. It wasn’t until my beautiful midwife friend Mandy (who has laboured with us for all four of our babies and knows me well) arrived and put my mind at ease.
We moved into the birthing room I knew and started to fill the pool up for another beautiful water birth. It was 5pm. Mandy got me sorted with an Enema and pretty much talked me into labour. She said “lets get this happening before the OB gets over here so we can tell him your in established labour and your water can break naturally”. And that’s what we did. Mandy had bought me some beautiful pink flowers to get the whole pink vibe going and I sat on a gym ball as I breathed my way through the contractions. It wasn’t long (maybe 40 mins) and I was in established labour. My OB arrived and Mandy told him we wouldn’t be needing him. He said he was heading home to ring him when my water broke. 15 minutes later my water broke. Mandy rang the OB told him waters were clear and he said we were all good to jump in the birthing pool. Mandy just happened to say to me “would you like me to check how far dilated you are so we know prior to you getting in the pool?” I agreed and jumped up on the bed.
Mandy did an internal and immediately felt a face. She didn’t let on to us as not to cause panic. She just said “I’m going to get my other midwife to just double check what I’m feeling”. Another midwife came in and checked me and she too felt the face. In a mad panic they immediately phoned the OB who was walking back in the door. He had his hand up inside for at least 3 massive contractions trying to see if the baby was going to turn, but no, she had her neck hyper extended and her face coming down the birth canal.
All at the same time as this was happening they lost the babies heartbeat. Both midwives rushed for the ultrasound machine and got me all hooked up. Thankfully after what seemed an eternity they located the babies heartbeat and all was fine.
Mandy came to me quietly and said “I know this isn’t the beautiful water birth you planned but it looks as though were going to have to go for a Caesarean”. I was crying, my husband was crying. Our Obstetrician walked over to the corner of the room thinking to himself “its face first, will I let her try or will we rush for an emergency C-section”. All the while I had held 2 pushes in then I yelled “I have to push”. The OB came running back over, took one look at me and said “Brooke I’m going to give you 2 pushes to get this baby out otherwise we’re going to emergency!” Mandy looked at my husband and said “Clint we need a miracle here…”.
In that moment I pushed harder than I’ve ever pushed in my life. I’ll never forget the look on Mandy’s face standing in the corner of the room watching on in amazement of how this was going to unfold. Lola presented with a perfect little face – 2 eyes a nose and mouth perfectly centred coming straight out. (I have the most amazing photos of her perfect little face entering the world) The OB had to hold her chin down because apparently if they’re not guided out when presenting like this they can break their neck. 2 pushes and we had our beautiful baby girl. As soon as she was put on my tummy I asked Mandy is she a girl, is she definitely a girl and we checked out her bits and pieces. We had our baby Girl!
It wasn’t until after the birth that I found out Mandy who has been a midwife for 25 years has never ever seen a baby born face first and my Obstetrician has never delivered a baby this way in all his years either. Most babies present with the top of their head and their face facing downwards, some babies are posterior still presenting with the top of their head just with their face facing upwards. But a face first presentation is extremely rare and would almost always be delivered by Cesarean (especially in the private sector where litigation is rife). I was extremely lucky that this was my fourth baby, that my birth canal had been used 3 times prior, that I understood how to push, and that I had a wonderful team of experts with me.
Other than a bit of bruising on Lola’s face she was absolutely fine and surprisingly so was I (even though the face is the biggest part of the babies head to present).
It never ceases to amaze me what our bodies are capable of.
We got our miracle – Lola Grace – very much adored baby sister to Kai, Cruz and Beau.
Are we done now having babies…… never say never xxx