My son Reuben was born in December 2011. After a great pregnancy and a very quick 2.5 hr labor. I was so keen to breast feed him and I was actually looking forward to it. It did take a little while and some persistence to get started. Some tears and pushing through painful grazes. Once we got going it was great.
At almost 3 months I had my thyroid levels tested, as I had a previous thyroid condition. My tests showed my levels were way too high and I needed medication to bring it down, I also had an irregular heartbeat and needed medication to make that right. The main thing the dr said to me was if my levels kept going up I would have to stop breastfeeding because too much medication can harm the baby.
That conversation floored me! I cried for days, knowing all I wanted to do was feed Reuben myself. Especially when it was all going so well after some hard work and persistence.
The next time I saw the dr I was told to wean Reuben because all the medication I needed to make me well, would make him sick.
After more crying, grief and sadness I had to begin to wean him, I have never felt so sad before. I kept thinking why did this have to happen, when it was all going so well. I had to realise that if I kept feeding him we would both be ill and I may get so sick I could have a heart attack at age 26.
When I fed him with a bottle I felt so much judgement and at first I couldn’t talk about it without crying or getting upset. I would see people breastfeeding their babies and I would get so sad.
Reuben still thrived and was doing all the things he should be, but I still felt a pang of pain,feeling like my body had failed me.
I ended up having my thyroid out, because we want more children and I didn’t want this to happen again.
It took me a long time to get past it, then I fell pregnant with our second son Micah born May 2014 after a very quick 1.5 hr labor.
I felt like this was my second chance to breastfeed. Micah took to it like a duck to water. I cried the first time out of pure joy and relief.
Our journey has been that of redemption, it has had it’s challenges and we have had to persist. But it is a joy every time we spend that time together. Micah is now at the age I had to begin weaning Reuben, and knowing I can feed him for as long as we want is just beautiful.
Hope you find as much joy from this story as I do.
Xo Aimee Foley